Nothing rings in the holiday season like unbridled capitalism and this year is no different! Metal heads are notoriously hard to shop for because we like weird crap that you often can’t just find on Amazon, so I’ve thrown together this list of some suggestions for the metal head in your life, or ya know, just get this stuff for yourself because we all deserve some joy in our lives. Oh, and don’t forget that Thanksgiving metal playlist I made a few years back that you can listen to here.
First up, music always makes a great gift but figuring out which specific albums someone wants can be hard. Gift cards to iTunes or similar music services often won’t be able to access those underground metal bands we all crave so see if your friend has an account on Bandcamp, which lets you see their “wishlist” and even make purchases to their account from that list. Bandcamp has been dealing with lots of layoffs and other internal turmoil lately (more info here) but they’re still kicking right now so use this resource while you can. Just go to Bandcamp.com/username/wishlish (and insert your friend’s Bandcamp username in the address of course).
Concert tickets! We’ve got an entire calendar of upcoming metal concerts in the DMV area listed here but a few choice selections for next year that would make great gifts include Municipal Waste at the Black Cat on 2/15 (tickets here), Judas Priest at the MGM Casino in National Harbor on 5/19 (tickets here) or Machine Head and Fear Factory at the Fillmore Silver Spring on 2/12 (tickets here).
Check out this Motörhead holiday shirt available in the band’s merch store here.
Iron Maiden is selling this “fire globe” featuring the artwork from their Number of the Beast album and it is available here.
Slayer has this intentionally hideous Show No Mercy ugly holiday sweater and another holiday t-shirt, but sizes are already selling out on those. They’ve got a 6 inch tall Show No Mercy ornament as well, all available here.
Sleep are selling these glass ornaments featuring the lungsman from the cover of their Dopesmoker album available here.
Who wouldn’t love this ornament featuring Darkthrone drummer Fenriz and his cat, available here.
The Australian Simpsons themed band Dr. Colossus has these Bonestorm shirts available in black and green and as both long and short sleeve, based on the classic Simpson’s holiday episode Marge Be Not Proud. Sizes are selling out already so go find them here.
Integrity has this absolutely garish stocking available featuring their iconic fanged skull logo as seen on their Systems Overload album cover. Order one here.
Wintry themed death metal band Frozen Soul sells windshield ice scrapers with their name on them (get one here), or if you’d prefer something more for the warmer months they also have branded coolers (available here).
Party thrashers Municipal Waste always have some of the sickest merch around and this holiday season is no different. It’s hard to pick just one but the Grim Reaper flipping you off while riding a jet ski beach towel is incredible. Find those here but don’t sleep on their branded Snuggies either, which you can find here.
Did you know there’s a Cannibal Corpse coffee? Available as beans or in cans, Beheaded Brewing is made by Concept Cafes Coffee and unlike many of the other metal bands that have made novelty coffee blends, this one has been a hit so they keep making it! Get it on the Concept Cafes website (here) and check out some of the other bands they offer coffee for, like Ministry and the Cavalera brothers.
Undeath is another band with lots of fun merch and recently I’ve been eyeballing the Rochester based death metal band’s pint glass that is available here.
If you’ve got a friend with a new member of the family and have no idea what to give new parents, keep in mind this branded Amon Amarth baby pacifier featuring Thor’s hammer Mjölnir, which you can get here. Because nothing says proper child rearing than Viking metal merchandise!
Did you know that local metal head and current Virginia state Senator elect Danica Roem has her own metal shirts? With artwork inspired by Ed “Big Daddy” Roth’s Rat Fink character and campaign stops listed as tour dates on the back, you can’t go wrong with one of these shirts, available here. And if you want to know more about Danica’s story check out her book Burn the Page here. It’s highly recommended and definitely not just because it includes a shout out to yours truly in it.
Wait, are we talking about reading now? Alright let’s get to the literate part of this holiday gift guide. You’ll definitely want to check out Life?… And Napalm Death, long time Napalm Death bass player Shane Embury’s autobiography, which is available in both signed and unsigned versions here.
It’s no secret that I’m a huge comic book nerd reader and while there have been many bands of late selling their own graphic novels they all have one thing in common: they pretty much stink. Top tier writers and artists don’t usually touch these things and even if they do it’s pretty hard to translate sick riffs and bitchin’ drum fills into pictures and word balloons. Murder Falcon is different though, created by current Transformers writer/artist Daniel Warren Johnson as a personal passion project, the comic follows a group of friends in a metal band (named Murder Falcon) and discusses something I think all metal heads can relate to, how the brutal music we love helps get us through the hardest times in our lives. Oh and it’s also action packed and full of references to real metal bands like Dio, Power Trip and Khemmis! Right now the complete collected edition hardcover is on sale for just $11 from Image Comics here. And if that’s not enough comics action, be sure to check out Walking Dead creator Robert Kirkman’s post-apocalyptic action comedy title Battle Pope which you can currently get the entire series of for just $5.49 here!
Don’t forget you can gift a subscription to Decibel Magazine which any metal head is going to enjoy. They’ve got both a regular subscription as well as the premium subscription that includes the exclusive flexi-disc vinyls, both options are available here.
We done talking about reading now? Cool. Now feast your eyes on this amazing dueling wizards shirt by the Denver based doomed metalers Khemmis which is available here while supplies last.
Who besides the Prince of Darkness himself would merchandise a plush bat toy with a removable Velcro attached head? Find it in Ozzy’s shop here.
If you’re looking for something extra brutal to decorate your wall be sure to check out local heavy metal artist Mark Riddick’s newest line of skate decks which just dropped at Board Pusher here.
Speaking of decorative skateboard decks be sure to check out the officially licensed decks over at Check Your Head, who currently are selling skate decks by bands like Celtic Frost, Sepultura, Wormrot, Deicide, Fit for an Autopsy and more, all in their online store here.
And last but also probably least, I finally put together a Red Bubble store to sell DCHM and Metal Embassy merch online. Right now I’ve just got that classic Abe Lincoln in King Diamond corpse paint design by Joshy of Ilsa on a shirt, but I’ll have more designs up soon (including some new ones), I promise! Plus there’s a few stickers. Anyways, check it out here.
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